成长的烦恼

童年: 没有零花钱,没有合适的衣服,总要穿大人们改装的旧衣服,没钱买书,没有自己的房间;

初中了:多么希望有一条合适的裤子,得体的上衣,记得有一件夹克,袖子都已经破得很厉害,但总要试图掩藏起来,体育课时不经意的露出来以后,引来异样的目光,而自己要默默地红着脸将他们隐藏;

高中了:慢慢开始树立起来了自信,总觉得只要成绩好了,一切都好了,事实上好像的确如此。

大学了:才发现,自己的成绩没那么好,而生活更是如此,很多事情并不是自己努力就可以改变的

毕业了:越来越发现自己是那么的渺小,再怎么拼命地工作,出色的成绩,和别人比起来都是不文一名,房子,车子,票子,都不是自己靠勤奋就可以伸手可及的—-

我其实就是一个背负了很多责任的普通人,虽然得到过不错的嘉许,但并无实际意义,我还得在这里默默地耕耘,期许十年,二十年后那所谓的幸福。

可能善意的谎言也许能够保持那份脆弱的尊严,但是我发现越来越难,越来越难。很多时候,我的辩解感觉那么的苍白——

这就是一个乡村孩子的人生——

我希望我的后代不会在经历这样的人生——

后人能在健康的心态中成长——

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记录

 
  人到中年,可能每天都在感觉自己一天天的老去,就常常有这样一种冲动,想把自己生活中的点点滴滴都记录下来。但实际上很多时候这么简单的一个要求都做不到。
  时不时的有种失落的感觉,发现没有什么东西能够衡量我的过去,维持我的现在和保证我的将来。生活却依然这样滴滴答答的流逝。
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公共汽车

 
   每天挤公交,人被挤得像鲜鱼干一样,司机还在哪里说:“中间没有人,往里面走走。”下车的时候,车下的人们奋不顾身的往上冲,一定要使出暴力才能冲出一条血路。唉!中国人真可怜,什么时候才能过上那种恬静而有秩序的生活?
   VC发下来了,感觉还不错。
 
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西行漫记

 
   从美国回来差不多一个礼拜了,朋友们总问我去了哪些地方?照了哪些照片?美国人怎样?经济危机有什么影响?回答了很多,有点厌烦的感觉。但是仔细回想起来,我最惊诧的还是那里优美的自然环境和动物保护,虽然在森林里面穿行的时候没有和什么野生动物不期而遇,但是那种宁静舒适的生活还是让我流连不已。蓝蓝的天空、洁白的云彩、落日映照下的晚霞和海面、盘旋的海鸟、翱翔的雄鹰、静止的松树。都是那么的令人难忘。常常有种对人生的慨叹,仔细想起来,自己的那种对祖国的热爱纯粹是一种先天的无奈,其实没有那么浓厚的。也许是对历史、对现实的一种无奈吧!无论如何都必须要接受的一种无奈。
 
   同时,那种淡淡的失落之情也随这距离的拉长变得强烈起来,感觉情感上面的寄托一下子失去了支撑,一切都变得没意思了。
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!!!

 
     囧:据说是雷人的意思.
     槑:字面意思分析,就是比呆还呆的意思了。
     宅男、宅女:整天足不出户,什么都叫外卖的人。我觉得周末和节假日的我就是这种人,下楼之前要做很多的思想斗争。唉!觉得出门是一种那么大的负担。才会去  一次华强北,看到那种川流的人群,有一种恍若隔世的感觉。
 
     这基本也就是我对过去的一年的总体感觉,感觉就自己而言,付出的都没有套现,到头来其实还是一无所获,特别对一个打工的人来说。除了钱,还有什么能够体现我们的价值呢?
 
     新的一年,我相信还是不会有什么起色,金融危机的影响会进一步深入,并表现出它巨大的破坏力,我想,每个人都会在钢丝绳上提心吊胆的走完这一年。
 
     这是一个没有希望充满失望的年代,特别是对我们这种普通人来说。还好,我不是最倒霉的人。
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孤独

 
   曾经以为自己多么的独立,到头来狗屁不是。发现自己像一个没有长大的男孩,离开了家人总是找不到安全。我恨死了现在这种孤独的感觉,害怕这种感觉。我拼命的看书,拼命的工作,总觉得只有在公司上班的时候,我才不是一个人。这么大一个城市,我感觉自己想生活在孤岛,周末的时光是那么的难熬。周五一个同时调回上海,五个人一起到华强北吃饭,在那种喧闹的人流中,我感觉自己就像从远古走来,陌生的看着那一张张行色匆匆的脸。我最近想涂料想得太多了。不想这些,我又能想什么呢?
 
   今天起床后,匆匆去交房租,结果房东的账号冻结了,白跑一趟。就打定主意离开那个冰冷的家,去办公室加了一个下午的班,那时候我才觉得充实。五点的时候还是不想回家,就又跑到书店看到8:00,买了两本书,希望借助他们,我能渡过又一个无聊的周末。
 
    唉!!!
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冲动

      是否写这封邮件真地考虑了很久,但是越和小王相处久,就越觉得人才难得,真的不像他就这样离开。今天就趁着这股冲劲,给大老板写了这封邮件,总是不会以后回想起来后悔。
 
PS.
 
Dear Ta-Wei,
 
Sorry for the bothering but I really want to say something for Wang Qisong.
 
Jeffrey and Scott had a long time discussion with me about the future work this tuesday afternoon, and I think I have no problem to take more projects and hope I can gain more practice through all of these challenging projects. I think that’s my great honour that I can do something for the business especially in current bad environment.
 
They also communicate with me about Wang Qisong’s possible arrangement in the near future. They told that this is highly confidential this time and keep it as a secret. I know that and would not tell it to anyone else including Wang. Please trust me! They just want me to prepare for this change because Wang really plays an important role in our routine work and contribute to the lab operation more than we expect.
Wang’s hometown is a poor small village in HuBei province and has 2 other sisters in his family. His parents are old and weak, so he needs to support them. By the way, Wang married last year and has a cute daughter. His wife also works in Shenzhen, but the job is very unstable.
 
Although he has to face so many family burdens, Wang still keep very positive and work very hard everyday. He has been in the solvent based lab for only 2 months, but can learn the routine operation very quickly. He is a smart guy with very clean habits and clever hands. Moreover, he know many about electrical equipments by self-study in part time, thus he really help us more for setting up lab facilities, eg, salt spray cabinet, tabor tester,tension machine and powder coating facility. Due to his professional work, Eric and I really save a lot of energy. I also know that he proposes a piece of advice to optimize the production process when he works in MP workshop, which increase the production efficiency more than 3 times.
 
In all, He is one of the most excellent operators in FPS shenzhen plant and I really hope we can keep it in our lab. I also know current serious situation and we can not predict the near future. Jeffrey and Scott also tell me that Ta-Wei has think a lot about this case. Herein I just want to express my feelings because I’m the man who works with Wang daily. I really feel very very sad after I receive this news these days.
 
I think a lot about if I should write this e-mail to you and finally make a decision because I’m afraid I’ll regret if no these words.
 
Thanks in advance for your understanding! Sorry again for bothering you with such a long e-mail!
Best Regards!
Victor
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